The goddesses? Alex, the goddesses .... Let me just say this about the
goddesses: I don't believe the term is good enough ... is good enough ...
but when you're bound by these terrestrial descriptions, you must use the
best choice available, right? You know, they lay down with their ugly wives
in front of their ugly children and just look at their loser lives and then
they look at me and say, 'I CAN'T PROCESS IT!' Well, no, and you never
will. Stop trying. Just sit back and enjoy the show .... You know? You
know, they lay down with their ugly wives in front of their ugly children
and just look at their loser lives and then they look at me and say, 'I
CAN'T PROCESS IT!' Well, no, and you never will. Stop trying. Just sit back
and enjoy the show .... You know? Um ... but I'm excited to get back ... to
work. Um ... and not to completely discount what you just talked about ...
It's just that if I bring up these ... these turds ... these little losers
... there's no reason to then bring them back into the fold, because I have
real fame, and they have nothing.   Because you have absolute and total
resolve about your decisions. If you love with violence and you hate with
violence, there's nothing that can be questioned. No, you won't get high
.... It's all good. It's all good, guys. Quit panicking. Quit panicking. No
panic, no judgment.  And they're gonna fuel the battle-cry of my deadly and
dangerous secret and silent soldiers. 'Cause they're all around you ....
Anyway. Thought you were just messing with one dude. Sorry! WINNING!  Yeah,
I didn't care about that vanity card. In fact, I went straight on with that
one and just dispelled that one.

But I dare anyone to debate me on things. But it's just not ... I'm not
fair game. I'm not a soft target. It's over. You know, he might be Nails,
but I'm frickin' bayonets, you know? I am battle-tested bayonets, bro.  And
one of those stupid mottoes, Alex, is 'Don't be special. Be one of us.'
News flash! I am special, and I'll never be one of you! ... There it is.
And I was getting a tattoo during the death from above. And it's the banner
from the death card that Kilgore is throwing on his victims. And I'm ...
you know ... most of the time. And this includes naps! You know, I'm an
F-18, bro. And I will destroy you in the air. And I will deploy my
ordinance to the ground. And, uh .... The goddesses? Alex, the goddesses
.... Let me just say this about the goddesses: I don't believe the term is
good enough ... is good enough ... but when you're bound by these
terrestrial descriptions, you must use the best choice available, right? 
It's being directed and written by a genius name David Ward who - oh, I
don't know - won the Academy Award at 23 for writing The Sting. And it was
his pen and his vision that created the classic that we know today as Major
League. Well, I think it was Nails that said I was really, really
flattered, 'cause he got it right. And I'm not ... And the gratitude I get
is this charlatan chose not to do his job, which is to WRITE. Clearly,
someone who believes he is above the law. Well, you've been warned, dude.
Bring it. And if you're a part of my family, I will love you violently. If
you infiltrate and try to hurt my family, I will murder you violently.

And if you're a part of my family, I will love you violently. If you
infiltrate and try to hurt my family, I will murder you violently. There's
a new sheriff in town, and he has an army of assassins. Oh, we must speak
of the Vatican assassins. And we are and, I don't know, winning?... Anyone?
.... (long silence) .... Rhymes with winning? .... Anyone? .... Yeah, that
would be us. Because you have absolute and total resolve about your
decisions. If you love with violence and you hate with violence, there's
nothing that can be questioned. And I was getting a tattoo during the death
from above. And it's the banner from the death card that Kilgore is
throwing on his victims.   And if you're a part of my family, I will love
you violently. If you infiltrate and try to hurt my family, I will murder
you violently. They will lose the rest of their lives as they think about
me and my life for the rest of their lives. So ... it's ... there's no ...
again, bring me a challenge, somebody. Bring me a frickin' challenge.
Because, you know ... it just ain't there. WINNING! In fact, a lot of
people think the movie's called 'Wild Thing', as they should. And people
say, 'Oh, you know... you have to work through your resentments.' Yeah. No.
I'm gonna hold on to them and they're gonna fuel my attack. And one of
those stupid mottoes, Alex, is 'Don't be special. Be one of us.' News
flash! I am special, and I'll never be one of you! ... There it is. How
complicated can it be? What they're not ready for, is guys like you and I,
Nails, and all the other gnarly gnarlingtons in my life ... that we are
high priests ... Vatican assassin warlocks. Boom. Print that, people. See
where that goes.

But there are parts of me that is hopper, because my motto now is 'You
either love, or you hate ... and you must do so violently.' And the reason
you must hate violently is because ... and you have to hate everyone that
is not in your family, because they're there to destroy your family, and
they will come at you in all forms and shapes. But it's just not ... I'm
not fair game. I'm not a soft target. It's over. And I was getting a tattoo
during the death from above. And it's the banner from the death card that
Kilgore is throwing on his victims. And I was getting a tattoo during the
death from above. And it's the banner from the death card that Kilgore is
throwing on his victims. You know, he might be Nails, but I'm frickin'
bayonets, you know? I am battle-tested bayonets, bro. And I'm ... you know
... most of the time. And this includes naps! You know, I'm an F-18, bro.
And I will destroy you in the air. And I will deploy my ordinance to the
ground. And, uh .... Yeah, I sat with two - hey, coincidence - F-18, Top
Gun, radical fire, napalm dropping pilots in my movie theater watching the
chopper attack sequence on the beachhead to go surfing because they wanted
to and those people were in their way. But I dare anyone to debate me on
things. And you know, I'm tired ... I'm so tired of pretending like my life
isn't perfect and bitchin' and just winning every second .... And I'm not
perfect and bitchin', and just delivering the goods at every frickin' turn.
100%. You know, here's your first pee test. Next one goes in your mouth.
And we are and, I don't know, winning?... Anyone? .... (long silence) ....
Rhymes with winning? .... Anyone? .... Yeah, that would be us.

Take for instance its founder and death written ... I don't know ... broken
down plagiarist ... stayed high on acid until the day he died. I can't seem
to find that chapter in his silly book of lies.  And I'm like ... guys,
it's right there in the thing. Duh! We work for the Pope. We murder people.
We're Vatican assassins. And we are and, I don't know, winning?... Anyone?
.... (long silence) .... Rhymes with winning? .... Anyone? .... Yeah, that
would be us.  So if you think about it, dude, it's like I'm 0-for-3 with
marriage, with ne'er an excuse. And we are and, I don't know, winning?...
Anyone? .... (long silence) .... Rhymes with winning? .... Anyone? ....
Yeah, that would be us. You know? Dealing with soft targets, and it's just
strafing runs in my underwear before my first cup of coffee because I don't
have time for these clowns. I don't have time for their judgment and their
stupidity and .... (sighs) I'm gonna hang out with these two smokin'
hotties and fly privately around the world. You know, it might be lonely up
here, but I sure like the view, Alex. They will lose the rest of their
lives as they think about me and my life for the rest of their lives. So
... it's ... there's no ... again, bring me a challenge, somebody. Bring me
a frickin' challenge. Because, you know ... it just ain't there. WINNING!
I'm gonna hang out with these two smokin' hotties and fly privately around
the world. You know, it might be lonely up here, but I sure like the view,
Alex. And you know, to sully and to contaminate or radically disrespect
this union with a shameful contract is something I'll leave to the amateurs
and the bible grippers. But there are parts of me that is hopper, because
my motto now is 'You either love, or you hate ... and you must do so
violently.' And the reason you must hate violently is because ... and you
have to hate everyone that is not in your family, because they're there to
destroy your family, and they will come at you in all forms and shapes.

But like in baseball, the scoreboard doesn't lie. Never has. So what we all
have is a marriage of the heart ... of the hearts.  So if you think about
it, dude, it's like I'm 0-for-3 with marriage, with ne'er an excuse. But
like in baseball, the scoreboard doesn't lie. Never has. So what we all
have is a marriage of the heart ... of the hearts. Yeah, I didn't care
about that vanity card. In fact, I went straight on with that one and just
dispelled that one. And one of those stupid mottoes, Alex, is 'Don't be
special. Be one of us.' News flash! I am special, and I'll never be one of
you! ... There it is. I am every character in between, save for that little
weirdo with his guts strapped in, begging for water. That's not me.  I just
closed my eyes and in a nanosecond I cured myself from this ridiculous
model of disease, addiction, and obsession. It's just ... It's just the
work of sissies. Yeah, I didn't care about that vanity card. In fact, I
went straight on with that one and just dispelled that one.

Well, I think it was Nails that said I was really, really flattered, 'cause
he got it right. And I'm not ... I just closed my eyes and in a nanosecond
I cured myself from this ridiculous model of disease, addiction, and
obsession. It's just ... It's just the work of sissies. Major League 3? I
don't know. I haven't read it. I don't care. And Alex, try to get your mind
around this, as a fellow warrior, deep in the trenches: Their entire
manifesto is built upon complete and total surrender ... or the concept of
complete and total surrender. But like in baseball, the scoreboard doesn't
lie. Never has. So what we all have is a marriage of the heart ... of the
hearts. No. She's not there now.  There's a new sheriff in town, and he has
an army of assassins. Oh, we must speak of the Vatican assassins. In fact,
a lot of people think the movie's called 'Wild Thing', as they should.  How
complicated can it be? What they're not ready for, is guys like you and I,
Nails, and all the other gnarly gnarlingtons in my life ... that we are
high priests ... Vatican assassin warlocks. Boom. Print that, people. See
where that goes.  Yeah. I did. Because he's nothing shy of that. And it is
his job to go out there and embarrass people. Embarrass them. Not just beat
them, but embarrass them in the process.

And I'm like ... guys, it's right there in the thing. Duh! We work for the
Pope. We murder people. We're Vatican assassins.  How complicated can it
be? What they're not ready for, is guys like you and I, Nails, and all the
other gnarly gnarlingtons in my life ... that we are high priests ...
Vatican assassin warlocks. Boom. Print that, people. See where that goes.
But I dare anyone to debate me on things. And people say, 'Oh, you know...
you have to work through your resentments.' Yeah. No. I'm gonna hold on to
them and they're gonna fuel my attack. THE BIBLE GRIPPERS! And you know,
I'm tired ... I'm so tired of pretending like my life isn't perfect and
bitchin' and just winning every second .... And I'm not perfect and
bitchin', and just delivering the goods at every frickin' turn. The
goddesses? Alex, the goddesses .... Let me just say this about the
goddesses: I don't believe the term is good enough ... is good enough ...
but when you're bound by these terrestrial descriptions, you must use the
best choice available, right? And that was actually, you know, one of the
few compliments that clown has paid me in frickin' almost a decade.  ....
And then, I just got to add this: There was a whole firestorm yesterday
about Brooke being, you know, a part of our crew. And let me just say this
... this is all I'm gonna say about it: Where there were four ... there are
now three. Goodbye, Brooke, and good luck in your travels ... you're gonna
need it ... badly... So .... The only thing I'm addicted to right now is
winning. You know? This bootleg cult - you know, arrogantly referred to as
'Alcoholics Anonymous' - now supports a 5% success rate. My success rate is
100%. Do the math! In fact, a lot of people think the movie's called 'Wild
Thing', as they should.

And you know, I'm tired ... I'm so tired of pretending like my life isn't
perfect and bitchin' and just winning every second .... And I'm not perfect
and bitchin', and just delivering the goods at every frickin' turn. No, you
won't get high .... It's all good. It's all good, guys. Quit panicking.
Quit panicking. No panic, no judgment. They urge you to put down your sword
and come join the winners. In 22 years the only 'winners' I could locate in
their toothless warren were either driving a convertible van or living like
trolls under an abandoned bridge. And that was actually, you know, one of
the few compliments that clown has paid me in frickin' almost a decade. I'm
cured. I'm done. 'Well, we all have to sit in here and touch ourselves and
frown.' Well, you don't look like you're having a lot of fun. And Alex, try
to get your mind around this, as a fellow warrior, deep in the trenches:
Their entire manifesto is built upon complete and total surrender ... or
the concept of complete and total surrender.  They have zero. They have
that night, and I will forget about them as the last image of them exits my
beautiful home. And they will get out there and they will sell me, and they
will lose. But there's also ... falling from it ... is the apple from The
Giving Tree. There's my life. Deal with it. Oh, wait! Can't process it.
Losers! WINNING! B'bye.   Because ... look at what I'm dealing with, man.
I'm dealing with fools and trolls. .... And then, I just got to add this:
There was a whole firestorm yesterday about Brooke being, you know, a part
of our crew. And let me just say this ... this is all I'm gonna say about
it: Where there were four ... there are now three. Goodbye, Brooke, and
good luck in your travels ... you're gonna need it ... badly... So ....

And I was getting a tattoo during the death from above. And it's the banner
from the death card that Kilgore is throwing on his victims. And I'm like
... guys, it's right there in the thing. Duh! We work for the Pope. We
murder people. We're Vatican assassins. And the gratitude I get is this
charlatan chose not to do his job, which is to WRITE. Clearly, someone who
believes he is above the law. Well, you've been warned, dude. Bring it.
He's as radical as you'd think he'd might be. If ... I'm not just my dad,
I'm ... you know ... petting up the river to kill another part of me, which
is 'courage'. No, you won't get high .... It's all good. It's all good,
guys. Quit panicking. Quit panicking. No panic, no judgment. Um ... but I'm
excited to get back ... to work. Um ... and not to completely discount what
you just talked about ... It's just that if I bring up these ... these
turds ... these little losers ... there's no reason to then bring them back
into the fold, because I have real fame, and they have nothing. And the
gratitude I get is this charlatan chose not to do his job, which is to
WRITE. Clearly, someone who believes he is above the law. Well, you've been
warned, dude. Bring it. Because I'm just ... um .... I don't know. Why give
an interview when you can leave a warning, you know? Um ... but I'm excited
to get back ... to work. Um ... and not to completely discount what you
just talked about ... It's just that if I bring up these ... these turds
... these little losers ... there's no reason to then bring them back into
the fold, because I have real fame, and they have nothing. You know?
Dealing with soft targets, and it's just strafing runs in my underwear
before my first cup of coffee because I don't have time for these clowns. I
don't have time for their judgment and their stupidity and .... (sighs) I'm
gonna hang out with these two smokin' hotties and fly privately around the
world. You know, it might be lonely up here, but I sure like the view,
Alex. And they're gonna fuel the battle-cry of my deadly and dangerous
secret and silent soldiers. 'Cause they're all around you .... Anyway.
Thought you were just messing with one dude. Sorry! WINNING! And one of
those stupid mottoes, Alex, is 'Don't be special. Be one of us.' News
flash! I am special, and I'll never be one of you! ... There it is.

But ... whatever. I agreed to do it. There's just one deal point that Jim
Robinson - a wonderful man at Morgan Creek, a great company - need to work
out is they want me in it. If they do, it's a smash. If they don't, it's a
turd that opens on a tugboat. The only thing I'm addicted to right now is
winning. You know? This bootleg cult - you know, arrogantly referred to as
'Alcoholics Anonymous' - now supports a 5% success rate. My success rate is
100%. Do the math! And Alex, try to get your mind around this, as a fellow
warrior, deep in the trenches: Their entire manifesto is built upon
complete and total surrender ... or the concept of complete and total
surrender.  But there's also ... falling from it ... is the apple from The
Giving Tree. There's my life. Deal with it. Oh, wait! Can't process it.
Losers! WINNING! B'bye.  Debate me on AA right now. I have a disease?
Bullshit. I cured it with my brain; with my mind. The goddesses? Alex, the
goddesses .... Let me just say this about the goddesses: I don't believe
the term is good enough ... is good enough ... but when you're bound by
these terrestrial descriptions, you must use the best choice available,
right? 'You have the right to kill me, but you do not have the right to
judge me.' Boom. That's the whole movie. That's life .... That's life.
There's nobility in that. There's focus. It's genuine. It's crystal and
it's pure and it's available to everybody. I'm cured. I'm done. 'Well, we
all have to sit in here and touch ourselves and frown.' Well, you don't
look like you're having a lot of fun. No. She's not there now. But it's
just not ... I'm not fair game. I'm not a soft target. It's over.

He's as radical as you'd think he'd might be. If ... I'm not just my dad,
I'm ... you know ... petting up the river to kill another part of me, which
is 'courage'.   But like in baseball, the scoreboard doesn't lie. Never
has. So what we all have is a marriage of the heart ... of the hearts. 
'You have the right to kill me, but you do not have the right to judge me.'
Boom. That's the whole movie. That's life .... That's life. There's
nobility in that. There's focus. It's genuine. It's crystal and it's pure
and it's available to everybody. Yeah, but I can't use the word 'sober'
because that's a term from 'those people', and I have cleansed myself. The
goddesses? Alex, the goddesses .... Let me just say this about the
goddesses: I don't believe the term is good enough ... is good enough ...
but when you're bound by these terrestrial descriptions, you must use the
best choice available, right? The goddesses? Alex, the goddesses .... Let
me just say this about the goddesses: I don't believe the term is good
enough ... is good enough ... but when you're bound by these terrestrial
descriptions, you must use the best choice available, right?  And I'm like
... guys, it's right there in the thing. Duh! We work for the Pope. We
murder people. We're Vatican assassins. I'm gonna hang out with these two
smokin' hotties and fly privately around the world. You know, it might be
lonely up here, but I sure like the view, Alex. Yeah, why not? 'Cause it's
just pure ... pure and complete gnarlyisms.

And they're gonna fuel the battle-cry of my deadly and dangerous secret and
silent soldiers. 'Cause they're all around you .... Anyway. Thought you
were just messing with one dude. Sorry! WINNING! How complicated can it be?
What they're not ready for, is guys like you and I, Nails, and all the
other gnarly gnarlingtons in my life ... that we are high priests ...
Vatican assassin warlocks. Boom. Print that, people. See where that goes.
And people say, 'Oh, you know... you have to work through your
resentments.' Yeah. No. I'm gonna hold on to them and they're gonna fuel my
attack. Let me just say this: It's nothing this side of deplorable, that a
certain Chaim Levine - yeah, that's Chuck's real name - mistook this rock
star for his own selfish exit strategy, bro. And people say, 'Oh, you
know... you have to work through your resentments.' Yeah. No. I'm gonna
hold on to them and they're gonna fuel my attack. You know, he might be
Nails, but I'm frickin' bayonets, you know? I am battle-tested bayonets,
bro. Yes! I don't read anything after it's come out, because I will not
waste my precious time on such ridiculous nonsense. But I understand,
according to you, that there was a lot of curiosity about the Vatican
assassins. But I dare anyone to debate me on things.  You know, they lay
down with their ugly wives in front of their ugly children and just look at
their loser lives and then they look at me and say, 'I CAN'T PROCESS IT!'
Well, no, and you never will. Stop trying. Just sit back and enjoy the show
.... You know? 100%. You know, here's your first pee test. Next one goes in
your mouth. And you know, to sully and to contaminate or radically
disrespect this union with a shameful contract is something I'll leave to
the amateurs and the bible grippers.

But it's just not ... I'm not fair game. I'm not a soft target. It's over. 
100%. You know, here's your first pee test. Next one goes in your mouth. 
How complicated can it be? What they're not ready for, is guys like you and
I, Nails, and all the other gnarly gnarlingtons in my life ... that we are
high priests ... Vatican assassin warlocks. Boom. Print that, people. See
where that goes. And they're gonna fuel the battle-cry of my deadly and
dangerous secret and silent soldiers. 'Cause they're all around you ....
Anyway. Thought you were just messing with one dude. Sorry! WINNING! Let me
just say this: It's nothing this side of deplorable, that a certain Chaim
Levine - yeah, that's Chuck's real name - mistook this rock star for his
own selfish exit strategy, bro.  And I'm ... you know ... most of the time.
And this includes naps! You know, I'm an F-18, bro. And I will destroy you
in the air. And I will deploy my ordinance to the ground. And, uh ....  And
therefore there's nothing in the middle. I don't live in the middle
anymore. That's where you get slaughtered. That's where you get embarrassed
in front of the prom queen. And it's just not an option.  And if you're a
part of my family, I will love you violently. If you infiltrate and try to
hurt my family, I will murder you violently.

In fact, a lot of people think the movie's called 'Wild Thing', as they
should. But I dare anyone to debate me on things. Well, I'm not Thomas
Jefferson .... He was a pussy! It's being directed and written by a genius
name David Ward who - oh, I don't know - won the Academy Award at 23 for
writing The Sting. And it was his pen and his vision that created the
classic that we know today as Major League. It's being directed and written
by a genius name David Ward who - oh, I don't know - won the Academy Award
at 23 for writing The Sting. And it was his pen and his vision that created
the classic that we know today as Major League. The goddesses? Alex, the
goddesses .... Let me just say this about the goddesses: I don't believe
the term is good enough ... is good enough ... but when you're bound by
these terrestrial descriptions, you must use the best choice available,
right?  Let me just say this: It's nothing this side of deplorable, that a
certain Chaim Levine - yeah, that's Chuck's real name - mistook this rock
star for his own selfish exit strategy, bro.  But I dare anyone to debate
me on things. Yeah. I did. Because he's nothing shy of that. And it is his
job to go out there and embarrass people. Embarrass them. Not just beat
them, but embarrass them in the process. Take for instance its founder and
death written ... I don't know ... broken down plagiarist ... stayed high
on acid until the day he died. I can't seem to find that chapter in his
silly book of lies. They will lose the rest of their lives as they think
about me and my life for the rest of their lives. So ... it's ... there's
no ... again, bring me a challenge, somebody. Bring me a frickin'
challenge. Because, you know ... it just ain't there. WINNING!

Because ... look at what I'm dealing with, man. I'm dealing with fools and
trolls.  Yeah, but I can't use the word 'sober' because that's a term from
'those people', and I have cleansed myself. And I'm like ... guys, it's
right there in the thing. Duh! We work for the Pope. We murder people.
We're Vatican assassins.  And I'm like ... guys, it's right there in the
thing. Duh! We work for the Pope. We murder people. We're Vatican
assassins. I'm gonna hang out with these two smokin' hotties and fly
privately around the world. You know, it might be lonely up here, but I
sure like the view, Alex. Yeah. I did. Because he's nothing shy of that.
And it is his job to go out there and embarrass people. Embarrass them. Not
just beat them, but embarrass them in the process.  But I dare anyone to
debate me on things. And I'm like ... guys, it's right there in the thing.
Duh! We work for the Pope. We murder people. We're Vatican assassins.

And Alex, try to get your mind around this, as a fellow warrior, deep in
the trenches: Their entire manifesto is built upon complete and total
surrender ... or the concept of complete and total surrender. You know, he
might be Nails, but I'm frickin' bayonets, you know? I am battle-tested
bayonets, bro. Yeah, I didn't care about that vanity card. In fact, I went
straight on with that one and just dispelled that one.  No, you won't get
high .... It's all good. It's all good, guys. Quit panicking. Quit
panicking. No panic, no judgment. Because I'm just ... um .... I don't
know. Why give an interview when you can leave a warning, you know?  Yeah.
I did. Because he's nothing shy of that. And it is his job to go out there
and embarrass people. Embarrass them. Not just beat them, but embarrass
them in the process. I'm cured. I'm done. 'Well, we all have to sit in here
and touch ourselves and frown.' Well, you don't look like you're having a
lot of fun.  Take for instance its founder and death written ... I don't
know ... broken down plagiarist ... stayed high on acid until the day he
died. I can't seem to find that chapter in his silly book of lies. But
there are parts of me that is hopper, because my motto now is 'You either
love, or you hate ... and you must do so violently.' And the reason you
must hate violently is because ... and you have to hate everyone that is
not in your family, because they're there to destroy your family, and they
will come at you in all forms and shapes. And one of those stupid mottoes,
Alex, is 'Don't be special. Be one of us.' News flash! I am special, and
I'll never be one of you! ... There it is.
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